On the Wings of Angels, Part I: "Wings of Desire" and the Holy Moment

(Bruno Ganz in "Wings of Desire")

Wim Wenders' 1987 film, "Wings of Desire" is quickly ascending on my list of favorite films of all time. Not necessarily because the movie is beautiful, which it truly is. My estimation of it grows with how much the film assisted me in my quest to understand myself.

It tells the story of Damiel (Bruno Ganz), an unseen angel who silently observes the hearts and minds of the people in West Berlin. He spends his days giving comfort to those whose are in pain and making notes on the beauty of normal human nature, which he discusses with his spiritual brother, Cassiel (Otto Sander). Damiel is completely fascinated by humanity but knows he can't become a human himself without taking away his immortality. Then he quietly and serendipitously meets a lonely and despondent trapeze artist named Marion (the beautiful and dearly departed Solveig Dommartin) whom he falls in love with. With that, he begins to ruminate whether or not to take the plunge and become human to meet her and hopefully, be with her.

The true facet of this movie that continually runs in my brain is how the angels view humanity from the outside in. They've lived an eternal life watching people and seeing their actions. They know what people are doing, but don't understand why they do it. After the movie, it was pointed out to me that I behave in a similar way. As an autistic, I describe seeing life as through a prism. Normality is difficult to comprehend. When you live in a world of your own (as I do), understanding other peoples' worlds is difficult.

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(David Jewell & Caveh Zahedi in "Waking Life")

Another element of "Wings of Desire" that helped me with my theory of the "Holy Moment." This concept comes from the movie "Waking Life" in a scene between director Caveh Zahedi and writer David Jewell. In Caveh's reading of critic André Bazin's book "What is Cinema?" he comes to the notion of how great film is born out of moments that are pure and open -- a "Holy Moment."

Ever since that scene, I've been searching to expand on what that entails, but some of that answer was found in "Wings of Desire." The angels cannot interfere with the actions that humans may take, but they do give a feeling of someone there when there is no one to be found. With films, we the viewers, can only stand by watching a scene (like the angels); there is no interference. And yet at times, the barrier between film and viewer is removed and we become part of it. I purposefully go to a different space and time -- it becomes vital to me. There are scenes in some films that make me feel that I'm just as much a part of the film as what I'm watching, even if I'm only listening intently in silence (again, like the angels). I become part of what I'm seeing. Art is something that keeps me alive. I participate in the "life" of a film (particularly when there is a "Holy Moment"); when in reality, "real life" is something that overwhelms and frightens me.

A Primer on Myself and Humanity: Part I

(The Dance of the Dead from "The Seventh Seal")

Not too long ago, I watched "The Seventh Seal" by Ingmar Bergman for the first time. I've never seen a Bergman film before, but I was glad to finally know what all of the adulation was about. It tells the story of Antonius Block (Max von Sydow), a knight who has come back to his disease-plagued homeland after years of fighting and challenges Death (Bengt Ekerot) to a chess game for his life. During which time the knight wanders his homeland in search of answers for what will await him in the afterlife.

What I've heard characterized about Bergman films is how God is silent. His characters, including Antonius, continually seek out answers to questions that cannot possibly answered by another human being. It kind of makes sense to me as we were severed from our true communication from God after we were thrown out of the Garden of Eden. Ever since then, humanity has had this eternal desire to try and get that counsel back, but we can't. So you have various religions trying to make heads or tails of what could happen. Some commit to praise, some commit to manipulation, some commit to submission (as seen by the occult in the film), some commit to violence (like the current insurgents of any religion) and some commit to the ultimate evil (as seen by the condemned to death "witch" in the film).

I've always felt that religion is a flawed concept, like any ideal belief. It can be twisted and arranged for personal gain, whether it be for one person or an entire country. I don't doubt that God exists, but what upsets me is how people can use their own moral compass and knowledge to cause pain and sadness all over the world. All because God "told them so..."

In the end, Antonius is just scared, just like we all are. We are scared because we don't know. We don't know what even life holds for us. Does that make me scared about what awaits my future? You bet it does. I prefer living in the moment and put off thinking about it as much as possible. It's not that I'm existential or nihilistic, I just get very scared thinking about what's ahead of me. Normally, I like having a steady mental ground under me and when life shifts sharply and unexpectedly, I start feeling like my world is coming down on me and become more and more overwhelmed. Strong change without warning reduces me to a frightened child. So it helps when changes are talked out and understood by me beforehand. They make transitions much easier.

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I also had the pleasure of watching "Blade Runner" for the first time as well. The Final Cut mind you, which I personally waited for. The movie does not display the smooth talking, nicely suited and elegant world of noir. Instead we get a moody, atmospheric, dank and bleak world of future Los Angeles, 2019. In this world, replicants (human-like machines) are being hunted down and killed by blade runners, notably Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford), to prevent revolts and murders.

Although you could debate forever on the state of Deckard's mind and whether he's a replicant or not (I believe he isn't), the most intriguing element of the film came from the lead female, Rachel (Sean Young; pictured left). I have no doubt in my mind that she's a replicant, but I'm fascinated by the idea of these machines being "more human than human." If that's the case, I was absorbed by how reserved and emotionally introverted she was. Beneath her mechanics beats the heart of a broken woman. She is a representation of suppressed and unfelt emotion.

Why is that? As a person who usually expresses what he feels openly, it strikes me somewhat unusually that so many people live as if they never feel anything at all. Sure, there's a lot of hardships that we must endure, but should that stop us from expressing the wonder of being alive. I mean, I even just get a kick out of listening to a great song on my iPod. It makes me dance, play air instruments, sing and roleplay. Living in the moment, even if it's in your imagination, is what life's about, son.

"Cloverfield" and Character

I saw “Cloverfield” on Friday. I thought I should see it, just because it looked very interesting as well as pacify my wait for another film, which I will be posting on in a few days.

What I think is fascinating about the film is how influenced it is by the work of great docu-drama. The movie puts you into a situation where the entire scope of the events are fully explained to you. We never see any presidents on TV, worried relatives outside the situation or military officials behaving like chickens with their heads cut off. Even when they have a scene with military, they don’t know everything about what’s going on either. The only official outside words given on the situation are only heard in brief glimpses of the news on TV or snatches of transmissions from army radios. This type of narrative is not akin to most sci-fi/monster films, and frankly, I find it refreshing and exciting.

Instead, all the movie wants to focus on is on this small group of people who are trying to survive the attack from the monster. What impresses me about J.J. Abrams (producer) as a storyteller is how, above everything else, he wants you to care for the characters that you see in front of you. Even if it’s for a short period of 84 minutes. Some of the movie’s most affecting scenes are when the action pauses and the characters were allowed to ease each other’s shattered psyches. The most prime example is after Rob (Michael Stahl-David) had to tell his mother that his brother, Jason (Mike Vogel) was killed, Rob and Jason’s devoted girlfriend, Lily (Jessica Lucas) take quiet comfort in each other’s grief. While the camera operator Hud (T.J. Miller) talks to Marlena (Lizzy Caplan) about what they could’ve done or couldn’t do. It’s a simply played scene like this that I look for in a film, a gentle expression of emotion.

Overall, the film is an impressively entertaining one. What more could you want?

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The movie also illustrates one of my ultimate theories about film and TV. One of the most important things to me when I watch anything is character. Character, character, character. If I have at least some emotional connection with one character, even one I hate, then I don’t get a feeling of borrowed interest. Even when I’m watching something with a plot I don’t fully understand, there is still a mystifying bond with the person on the screen that keeps me transfixed.

We are forever drawn to the mystery of who we are…

A Formal Introduction

Hi, my name is Sam and I'm an autistic arts lover; though what I just said is kind of contradictory. In a lot of ways, I shouldn't be a arts lover. I become uneasy during long continuous stimulation, I'm impatient, my thoughts drift, my mind goes a thousand miles a minute and I don't like to go out unless I feel like it. But, I'm bonded deeply with the art of film and music because they (as well as TV in a smaller way) have literally saved my life.

When I was young, many experts thought that I would not be able to communicate properly outside my own world, like many autistics. But I was also blessed with an innate sense of memory and imitation. Through the films that I watched and the music that I listened to, I began to build a knowledge of phrasing. Miraculously, I found that I could use quotes and song lyrics to communicate how I felt or thought. Also, films and songs gave me a window to the typical world, a world I couldn't grasp. Then, using quotes and lyrics as a basis, I began forming my own style of speech and connection. Which all lead me to where I am today; I'm a sound, happy and proud cinephile and audiophile.

Now, I may not see or listen to everything that comes my way, which may alienate some people. But as I said earlier, I can't handle continuous mounting stimulation, so I will miss out on some cool things until much later. Though I assure you this passion I have means the world to me and it never diminishes for any reason, including myself.

I hope you all enjoy my blog and continue reading my thought on the things I care about.